3 Essentials for a Successful Small Group
Finding and creating a small group can be challenging. There are are many factors that must align at the same time for a group to endure. However, most of them can be boiled down to three categories: fellowship, logistics, and spiritual growth. As a leader or a group member, some of those factors are ones that you can cultivate, while others are beyond your control. Whether you're considering joining a group or you're a seasoned leader, knowing the three categories can help you build a strong group that persists even in hardship.
The Three Legged Stool
Small Group is a three legged stool. Those three legs are: fellowship, logistics, and spiritual growth. If one of these legs is too wobbly, it is going to be difficult for that individual to maintain their seat in the small group circle. You can’t sit comfortably on a stool with only one or two legs. Each individual in the small group needs all three legs of the stool to be strong.
A flourishing small group requires trust and commitment from all the members. Each person has a part to play in the health of the group.
Leg One: Fellowship
Small group is a place for intimate conversation and wrestling with difficult questions: because of this, you need to like the people you sit in a circle with. That does not mean that you have to all have the same interests, be in the same stage of life, or have the same lifestyle. Variety in a group can be good. The best groups are ones that you can joyfully prioritize, because you like spending time with them.
Another aspect of good fellowship includes participation. Even if you show up, and you like the people in group, strong fellowship requires for others to know you. That means you need to share what is going on in your life. You need to answer some of the discussion questions. You need to contribute to conversations. You need to be vulnerable.
Being vulnerable does not mean that you have to immediately let your guard down. You also don’t have to share every single aspect of your week with the group. Slowly letting down your guard will help you feel connected to the group, and ultimately will help you grow in your walk with Christ.
Leg Two: Spiritual Growth
A good small group will challenge you spiritually. It should lead you deeper. Just like the first leg, fellowship, this leg also requires your participation. It is the leader’s job to provide an environment to learn, but it is the member’s job to do the work between group meetings, whether that is homework or your own devotionals. If you are feeling stretched too thin or burnt out, talk to your leader about it. A good small group should support your growth, not add pressure.
A healthy small group is one that is learning. You should be doing studies, reading the bible, watching sermons, listening to audiobooks and other forms of learning about God.
However, keep in mind that it is normal for your group to do studies that you don’t like. Not every topic will be personally tailored to you. There may be times that your group is studying something you feel you have mastery over, or isn’t interesting to you, or you don’t like the way the preacher speaks. It may be that someone else needs to hear what is in this study. Set a challenge to yourself to find a nugget of new information, or to simply support the people that are being filled by the study. And rest on the fact that there will be other topics in the future that you like more.
Leg Three: Logistics
You have to be able to show up 80-90% of the time. Everyone has commitments that take time from their schedule: school, work, professional organizations, volunteering, organized sports, workout classes, other social groups, etc. Not to mention, sick kids, doctor’s visits, family events, house maintenance, and hair appointments just to name a few. All these things take time. And sometimes they will overlap with your commitment to small group. A healthy small group is at a time and date that works well for most of the group members, most of the time, and has enough grace to cover you when you aren’t able to make it to group.
Strengthen Your Stool Legs
If two of the legs of your small group stool are healthy, then consider doing some work to improve the leg that you are struggling with. Clear some space in your calendar/capacity to make room for your small group. Meet up with your other group members for a walk or coffee outside of your regular meeting. Ask your small group leader about doing more challenging content. Volunteer to take on some responsibility in the group.
Sometimes all it takes is recognizing which leg of your small group stool is loose for things to improve.
Your small group experience is dependent on your participation. You will get out what you put in. Finding a group that fuels you, that you like spending time with is hard. If you have found that, hold on to it as long as you can. And praise God for the gift of deep fellowship.
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