Keep It Shut - Discussion Questions
Keep It Shut Discussion Guide, Reading Plan, and In-Group Activities
Keep It Shut Small Group Guide
Keep It Shut by Karen Ehman is a Christian living book that tackles the topic of gossip, along with other ways that controlling our words can honor God. It is an excellent book to read together as a small group. Below you will find a reading plan and discussion questions for Keep It Shut. You can read a full review of this book here.
Group Study Plan
For your first session, each group member should come to group having read the homework for session one. The week before starting the study make sure that everyone has the book, or access to an audiobook version.
There are a lot of suggested questions for this study. You do not need to ask every question in the discussion guide. Choose the ones that are going to spark the best conversation in your group, and skip ones that don’t serve your group.
Supplies:
Two printable activities in PDF (for session one) (one per group member)
Index cards or post it notes (for session two)
Printable activity in PDF (for session four) (one per group)
Homework Overview:
Session One: Chapters 1 - 2
Session Two: Chapters 3 - 4
Session Three: Chapters 5 - 6
Session Four: Chapters 7 - 8
Session Five: Chapters 9 - 10
Session Six: Chapter 11
Session One
Homework:
Read Chapters 1 & 2 before group.
Suggested Extra Bible Reading (optional)
James 3:1-12
Luke 6:37-49
Genesis 37
Genesis 39
Genesis 42
Genesis 50:15-26
Discussion Questions:
Can someone summarize the reading homework?
Which part of the reading stood out to you the most?
How is the concept of gossip as an adult different from
Complete the Psalm 15 Verse Mapping Activity (see printable in PDF)
What observations did you make about Psalm 15?
Are there any guidelines we can draw out of this passage for how we can use our words wisely?
The author listed eight cues we can take from Joseph’s life about our words. Which of these do you think you need to work on most?
Beware of Bragging
Say what honors God, not what others want to hear
Realize that lies are the minuscule snowflake in a monumental snowball
Give God credit where credit is due
Watch your words in the workplace
Just because you have a reason to retaliate doesn’t mean you’re justified in doing so
Don’t be God
Do be nice
“Are your words a sword or a salve?” What is your reaction to this question?
Can you think of a time when someone’s words were a “salve”?
Session Two
Homework:
Read Chapters 3 & 4 before group. Complete the Areas of Communication Activity (see printable in PDF)
Suggested Extra Bible Reading (optional)
Daniel 1
Daniel 2
Daniel 6
Mark 13:3-13
Proverbs 10:14-22
Discussion Questions:
Can someone summarize the homework reading?
If you were able to do the individual activity from the homework, which area did you say you needed to work on most?
How is the concept of gossip as an adult different from your teen years?
Do you think on average that you listen to respond or to understand?
In chapter 3, Karen talked about her tendency to fill all the gaps of silence in conversation. Did you relate to this? If you are a non-gap filler, what do you wish the gap-fillers understood? OR what benefits have you found by allowing gaps in conversation?
Pick one of the four verses from chapter 3 that speaks to what you need to currently work on. Copy it onto a verse card.
Which verse did you choose? And why?
In chapter 4, we read about how what we take in can effect what we say. Did God bring to mind any areas for you that might be negatively influencing your speech?
Which prayer strategy resonated with you most?
Session Three
Homework:
Read Chapters 5 & 6 before group.
Suggested Extra Bible Reading (optional)
Matthew 12:33-37
Matthew 5:13-16
Colossians 4:2-6
Discussion Questions:
Can someone summarize the homework reading?
What part of the reading stood out to you the most?
Page 83 has a series of questions. How can we summarize/simplify these questions into one or two memorable questions?
Ehman suggests that staying in God’s Word will help us correctly examine our motives. How often do you read your Bible? Do you read to check a box? Or to seek God’s truth?
How can we have tough skin and tender hearts towards the difficult people in our lives?
Why is it so hard to be quiet? Or to keep your opinion to yourself?
Do you comment most on stranger’s posts? Or people you know?
When have conversations online (your’s or other’s) bled over into the “real world”? What was the impact of that?
Do you think your voice online is different than the tone and boldness you use in person?
Which of the six online rules do you find most helpful? (page 103)
What does it mean to “season your words with salt”?
Session Four
Homework:
Read Chapters 7 & 8 before group.
Suggested Extra Bible Reading (optional)
Matthew 18:15-20
Matthew 10:16-33
Matthew 14:1-12
Galatians 1:6-24
Discussion Questions:
Can someone summarize the homework reading?
Complete the session four activity. (see printable in PDF)
How did you define gossip?
Think back to a time when you participated in gossip. How would the situation have been different if you had practiced the actions from chapter seven?
What situations lead you to be most tempted to gossip?
How did chapter seven effect your view of gossip?
How has this book effected your daily use of words?
Chapter eight talks about other categories of speech that can get us in trouble: lying, flattery, people pleasing. Which of the three do you struggle with the most?
While reading these chapters, did the Holy Spirit bring someone to mind that you need to apologize to?
Session Five
Homework:
Read Chapters 9 & 10 before group.
Suggested Extra Bible Reading (optional)
Ephesians 4
John 15:1-17
Discussion Questions:
Can someone summarize the reading homework?
What were your thoughts on anger not being equal to sin? (page 159)
When are you most likely to let your anger cause you to sin?
Do you tend to deal with anger immediately or ignore it until it goes away?
Who needs your encouraging words this week?
Which of the nine guidelines stood out to you the most? (page 180)
Session Six
Homework:
Read Chapter 11 before group.
Suggested Extra Bible Reading (optional)
Mark 6:30-44
Discussion Questions:
Can someone summarize the reading homework?
Where do you retreat to when you spend time with God?
How can you set up or improve your preferred quiet time spot to make it more inviting and functional?
Why does location seem to be an important part of spending time with God? (Mark 6:31)
Do you have any outward symbols of your lifelong commitment to God? What lead you to take on that symbol?
Has this study changed your communication?
What was your biggest take away from this study?
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