It’s Not About Numbers
The Life Changing Power of Planning
If you are a small group leader, it can be easy to get wrapped up in the “numbers” aspect of your small group.
As a member of a large church with many satellite churches, I hear numbers all the time. 55% of our members tithe every month. Over 800 middle school students attended the last retreat. 134 Leaders. 47 new small groups formed. 6 outings. 12 students stopped coming. Only one person showed up.
Not only does the church freely provide these numbers to us, but we ask for them. Rejoice in them. Show them off to people we meet. And complain about them when they are low.
For our church these numbers are ridiculously amazing. We get to reach, sometimes, an unprecedented number of people. Our church has become a model for many other churches. So, of course, we run statistics and track attendance and jump up and down when we have big active small groups.
Numbers are a Metric, Not the Goal
At my church we are given the goal: “to lead people into a growing relationship with Christ” and in student ministry we help students “find a faith of their own”.
I have been a small group leader in one way or another for more than 15 years. And I have been participating in small groups for the last 23 years (more numbers I know).
In all of that time, I have come to appreciate small groups for a greater purpose than converting people that are not believers, or pulling people back into the fold that have fallen away, as both of the mission statements above would suggest. For many small groups “conversion to Christianity” will represent a very tiny portion of your group, if any at all. But every group I have been in has been an incredible support system for the members of the group.
I have witnessed so many things that could only happen in a group that is trusting, honest, supportive, and not judgemental. A good small group will allow it’s members the space to relieve their burdens, to be emotionally vulnerable, and to admit to problems they have kept hidden. Small group is not only a safe place, it’s a place for us to hold each other’s hearts and grow as people. It’s an avenue for finding change in your life. It can be a catalyst for massive growth. Every small group I have been in has made an impression or impact on my life in some way.
That is the real goal.
To connect. To change. To love and be loved.
Numbers are not the goal.
You cannot achieve true fellowship and connection when it’s all about the numbers. No one ever said “My life changed after I attended a retreat. I just couldn’t believe that I was one of 1,000.”
When small group members tell their story it is not about the numbers. And when you tell your story it is not about the numbers.
The Power of Small
There is huge power in the low numbers. In small numbers. The most memorable retreat I have ever lead was when I only had just three students. During this retreat one of my students admitted to struggling with partying and other extra curricular activities that were less than wholesome. She would have never opened up and given a space for that conversation if there had been 30 other girls. That trip needed to be small. She needed my singular attention.
When you have only a few members in small group or a tiny group for a retreat: count it a blessing, not a failure. God is at work in those moments. God has given your small group an amazing gift to give focused attention to those members.
Use those tiny numbers to do things you can’t do with a big group. Walk around the church instead of holing up in your small group room. Let the conversation linger on a topic or issue, because each person has more time. Abandon your questions and gain some deep fellowship.
God has placed those few people together for a reason. God has given you this opportunity that you may be passing up because you feel like your time is wasted. Your time with this one person might be the most important thing that they need. But, you won’t be able to give them that attention if you are all fussed that everyone else didn’t show up.
Do For One
Having a large group can also have a big impact on your ability to serve. It’s encouraging to see that what you are doing every week is compelling enough to have lots of people show up consistently. Managing a large group comes with a lot more administration work, like coordinating socials and updating rosters and keeping group texts orderly. Across all of the tasks, it is natural to view the group as a unified whole, rather than a collection of individuals.
Do for one person what you wish you could do for all.
Don’t allow yourself to get so caught up in doing things as a big group that you forget to acknowledge the individuals. Everything you do does not have to be perfectly equal.
You are serving a diverse group, and that sometimes means you'll need to tailor your approach for everyone. You might not be able to afford to buy everyone a Bible, or have the time to meet with every person outside of group. But you can for one. Don’t ignore the Holy Spirit’s prompts to show love to one person in a way you can’t do for the others, just for the sake of keeping everything equal.
Buy the gift. Write the letter. Schedule a coffee date. Make the cake. Show up.
Numbers Aren’t Bad
I want to end all of this with saying that I don’t believe that statistics are bad. When I served in student ministry, got a roster every week with our student’s names, birthdays, contact info, and how many times they’ve attended in the last 6 weeks. I loved this sheet. I could scan through these numbers and make a mental check of the students that might be falling off our radar. These statistics facilitated connection between the leaders and the students we might not be seeing yet.
Even if you don’t keep attendance as an adult small group, you probably have a good idea of what your numbers look like week to week.
Numbers are a guideline, but they should not drive all of your decisions. And numbers should not cause you to forget why you started serving in the first place.
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